By Elissa J Freeman

Let’s get one thing clear:
Low self-worth isn’t humility. It isn’t spiritual. It’s self-abandonment.

In spiritual circles — especially the ones that pride themselves on being “evolved” — self-doubt often masquerades as modesty. We confuse playing small with being ethical. We mistake hiding as virtue. But here’s the truth:

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking.

I say this with love — and with fire. Because I know what it costs to live under the weight of self-doubt: the opportunities missed, the purpose ignored, the relationships twisted by silent shame. I lived there. And I left. Now I help others do the same.

Self-Doubt Is a Program — Not a Personality

Let’s drop the stories.
You were not born doubting yourself.
You were taught to.

Maybe it was a parent who never saw you. A culture that shamed your voice. A trauma that rewired your nervous system to equate visibility with danger. But whatever its origin, self-doubt is not a personality trait — it’s a program.

Neuroscience backs this up. Unworthiness lives in the subconscious, hardwired by repetition and emotional charge (Van der Kolk, 2014). But like any program, it can be uninstalled — if you stop identifying with it.

The Myth of the “Worthy” Type

You don’t need to be more spiritual, more educated, more healed, or more ready to start living your worth. You just need to stop waiting for permission.

There is no type of person who “has confidence.”
There is only the person who decides to act before they feel ready.

Confidence is not a feeling. It’s a practice.

That’s what From Self-Doubt to Self-Worth is about. Not cheerleading. Not empty affirmations. Actual transformation — from the inside out.

The Science and the Soul of Worth

This journey isn’t just psychological. It’s spiritual. It’s energetic. It’s cellular.

In my work — informed by a master’s in clinical hypnosis, decades of shamanic training, and thousands of hours helping real people make real change — I blend neuroscience with soul work.

Here’s what that looks like:

• Disrupting the brain’s negativity bias (Hanson, 2009)
• Regulating the nervous system to shift from fear to safety (Porges, 2011)
• Using hypnosis and subconscious work to rewire identity
• Shamanic journeying and ritual to reclaim power at a soul level

You won’t find fluffy mantras here. You’ll find tools that reach deep — and challenge the parts of you that want to stay small.

Because let’s be honest…

Playing Small Is Not Noble — It’s Costly

Every time you silence yourself in a meeting, hold back your work, dismiss a compliment, or avoid visibility, you’re not just keeping the peace — you’re reinforcing the lie that you’re not enough.

And you’re training your body to believe it.

It’s time to stop. Not later. Not when you’re more “together.” Now.

My Journey — and Yours

I didn’t get here because I was naturally confident. I got here because I broke down. Because I was sick of living on the sidelines of my own life.

Healing my self-worth was not a neat process. It was fierce, messy, sacred — and completely worth it.

You don’t need more time.
You need more truth.
And the truth is: you’re already enough — you just haven’t let yourself act like it yet.

If that lands, then this journey is for you.

I’ll meet you there.

You’re Invited — Free Online Event

If this speaks to you, I’d love to invite you to my free online Zoom class, From Self-Doubt to Self-Worth: A Confidence Journey. In this live session, I’ll guide you through some of the tools I’ve shared above — from neuroscience-backed techniques to soul-level shifts — and help you take real, grounded steps toward lasting self-worth. It’s free to attend, but spots are limited. Reserve your place HERE — and give yourself the gift of confidence that lasts.

References

• Hanson, R. (2009). Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. New Harbinger Publications.
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
• Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

24 July 2025

6:30pm – 7:30pm (Brisbane Time)

Who is this course for?

• Do you want to know how to develop your confidence & self-esteem?
• Do you want to make sense of why you are not as confident as you’d like?
• Do you want to learn to use your confidence & self-esteem to be a great role model and to help others?

If you answered YES to any of the above, then this course is for you.

 Reserve my FREE spot (Coming soon!)

Here’s what you’ll learn in the free online course

• Learn how to grow your confidence & self-esteem (authentically)
• Harness the power of your self-worth to live a rich and full life
• Discover why confidence & self-esteem doesn’t come naturally to you (and what you can do about it)
• Learn how to genuinely boost other’s self-esteem (and it has nothing to do with shallow compliments)
• Discover how to truly love yourself (finally!)

About your trainer

Elissa Freeman draws on her knowledge of non-culture-specific shamanism, studies of psychology, healing and neuroscience.

She has trained under a shaman for over four decades and has her master’s in clinical hypnosis among other consciousness methods. She has gone from extremely low self-worth in the past, to healing and loving and appreciating herself. Now she is sharing how she did it with you.

Elissa is a best-selling author and works full-time as a therapist and mindset coach. She has helped thousands of people around the world find their purpose, heal past pain and live a rich and authentic life.

Elissa is an informative and engaging international speaker.

Change your focus from trying to be loved to allowing.

“Heal yourself with the light of the sun and the rays of the moon. With the sound of the river and the waterfall. With the swaying of the sea and the fluttering of birds.

Heal yourself with mint, neem, and eucalyptus. Sweeten with lavender, rosemary, and chamomile.

Hug yourself with the cocoa bean and a hint of cinnamon. Put love in tea instead of sugar and drink it looking at the stars. Heal yourself with the kisses that the wind gives you and the hugs of the rain.

Stand strong with your bare feet on the ground and with everything that comes from it.

Be smarter every day by listening to your intuition, looking at the world with your forehead. Jump, dance, sing, so that you live happier.

Heal yourself, with beautiful love, and always remember…you are the medicine.”

~ María Sabina, Shaman

Superficially, it can seem only the lucky ones meet the love of their life at an early age and stay in effortless bliss their entire life, while you’re doomed to be a fucked-up lonely failure, never able to have this fantastical unicorn love life.

Wrong!

If you fear being hurt, lonely, or lost, you’re going to let opportunities pass you by, and the cycle of sadness will continue.

The Love Conundrum

What is the love conundrum? It goes like this:

In order to heal the hurt, you need to let love in. But to let love in, you need to heal the hurt.

This can make it seem as though you’re caught in one of two cycles:

1. You fall in love, work out any obstacles, communicate well, and grow into a deeper love over time.

2. You desperately want love, but your own fears block you from finding it, so you convince yourself you’ll never find love and that you’ll remain unhappy.

If you’re in the hurt cycle, it may seem almost impossible to get out of it while you’re circling around and around, afraid of your shadow. But the truth is, everywhere you run, your shadow is there.

As a result, you could spend all of your time doing one or more of the following behaviours:

• Getting angry and frustrated at the world, yourself, and others.
• Feeling self-righteous and telling anyone who will listen why the world is fucked up.
• Getting sad, blaming yourself, and trying to please everyone.
• Isolating yourself and withdrawing from friends, people, or society and zoning out.
• Blaming anything and everyone else, without taking personal responsibility for your part
• Making yourself so busy, you don’t have to think about it or bond with anyone.

And just like with the hurt cycle, you end up back where you started, only now, even more time has passed, and you feel more defeated than ever.

But here’s some food for thought. Maybe you’re going about finding love in an ineffective way, and the conundrum isn’t a conundrum at all! Most folks believe in three myths about love and hurt that they only find out are incorrect through prolonged, close observation of people and their behaviours. However, to save you some time, I’m going to bust them here.

Your hurt and pain will always be a part of you.

Did you know that you have your very own Guru Guidance Gauge? It speaks in the universal language of feelings and lets you know if you need some healing.

If you’re feeling hurt, then it’s time to do something about it. You weren’t designed to lug your pain and suffering around with you, letting it drag you down. You’re not supposed to just “put up with it”.

You’re meant to use it as a catalyst for change.

Acceptance equals passivity.

If you’re feeling anything other than balanced, centred, and aware, then your system may be out of whack. But don’t let it get you down. Use this as your opportunity to accept where you are and where you’ve been.

Acceptance doesn’t mean lying back and doing nothing. On the contrary, it means acknowledging you can’t go back in time and change the event that caused you to feel a certain way. Accepting that it happened, and then doing what it takes to heal, is the way to move through it and come out the other side.

If you broke your arm, you wouldn’t ignore it, hoping the break would miraculously heal itself. That doesn’t make sense, does it? Of course not. You would recognise the problem and immediately seek the help of an appropriate medical professional.

Other people made you feel this way.

Hurt feelings are created inside of you from your thoughts and the release of chemicals produced by you.

No one makes you feel anything.

It’s not about being “better”, it’s about appreciating your amazing system that tells you what to work on next, so you can be your authentic self.

Take responsibility for your feelings, and take the next step.

Remember, you don’t need to put up with anyone who’s abusive, aggressive, or manipulative. And make sure you have support before taking the next step.

How to Have More Love in Your Life

The love conundrum keeps you from experiencing love. You must break the cycle, but you can’t solve the problem with the same thinking that created it. The change must occur on a subconscious level. Work with a good practitioner to heal yourself, and do it as soon as possible. Then watch the magic happen in your life. You deserve it. 

Become Free by Healing the Hurt

Freedom is there for you if you heal the hurt and pain, but to get it, you must do the work required by investing in yourself.

Once you’re healed, you will realise the shadow that follows you around is created by you, and you’ll understand on a deep level that you’re the one in control of it.

It’s time to break through to your massive potential.

Love

Elissa

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HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

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Discover how to live the life you were meant to live. I’ve put together a cool little video, so you can learn the 7 Steps to Transformation.

If you’ve always known there’s more to life than how you’ve been living it, then this system is for you!

Just click this link to gain access now.

elissafreeman.com.au