Change your focus from trying to be loved to allowing.
You want to find the love of your life. So, what’s holding you back? Is it fear of being hurt? The risk of being vulnerable and allowing someone to really know who you are? Have you had your heart broken?
Superficially, it can seem only the lucky ones meet the love of their life at an early age and stay in effortless bliss their entire life, while you’re doomed to be a fucked-up lonely failure, never able to have this fantastical unicorn love life.
If you fear being hurt, lonely, or lost, you’re going to let opportunities pass you by, and the cycle of sadness will continue.
The Love Conundrum
What is the love conundrum? It goes like this:
In order to heal the hurt, you need to let love in. But to let love in, you need to heal the hurt.
This can make it seem as though you’re caught in one of two cycles:
- You fall in love, work out any obstacles, communicate well, and grow into a deeper love over time.
- You desperately want love, but your own fears block you from finding it, so you convince yourself you’ll never find love and that you’ll remain unhappy.
If you’re in the hurt cycle, it may seem almost impossible to get out of it while you’re circling around and around, afraid of your shadow. But the truth is, everywhere you run, your shadow is there.
As a result, you could spend all of your time doing one or more of the following behaviours:
- Getting angry and frustrated at the world, yourself, and others.
- Feeling self-righteous and telling anyone who will listen why the world is fucked up.
- Getting sad, blaming yourself, and trying to please everyone.
- Isolating yourself and withdrawing from friends, people, or society and zoning out.
- Blaming anything and everyone else, without taking personal responsibility for your part
- Making yourself so busy, you don’t have to think about it or bond with anyone.
And just like with the hurt cycle, you end up back where you started, only now, even more time has passed, and you feel more defeated than ever.
But here’s some food for thought. Maybe you’re going about finding love in an ineffective way, and the conundrum isn’t a conundrum at all! Most folks believe in three myths about love and hurt that they only find out are incorrect through prolonged, close observation of people and their behaviours. However, to save you some time, I’m going to bust them here.
Your hurt and pain will always be a part of you.
Did you know that you have your very own Guru Guidance Gauge? It speaks in the universal language of feelings and lets you know if you need some healing.
If you’re feeling hurt, then it’s time to do something about it. You weren’t designed to lug your pain and suffering around with you, letting it drag you down. You’re not supposed to just “put up with it”.
You’re meant to use it as a catalyst for change.
Acceptance equals passivity.
If you’re feeling anything other than balanced, centred, and aware, then your system may be out of whack. But don’t let it get you down. Use this as your opportunity to accept where you are and where you’ve been.
Acceptance doesn’t mean lying back and doing nothing. On the contrary, it means acknowledging you can’t go back in time and change the event that caused you to feel a certain way. Accepting that it happened, and then doing what it takes to heal, is the way to move through it and come out the other side.
If you broke your arm, you wouldn’t ignore it, hoping the break would miraculously heal itself. That doesn’t make sense, does it? Of course not. You would recognise the problem and immediately seek the help of an appropriate medical professional.
Other people made you feel this way.
Hurt feelings are created inside of you from your thoughts and the release of chemicals produced by you.
No one makes you feel anything.
It’s not about being “better”, it’s about appreciating your amazing system that tells you what to work on next, so you can be your authentic self.
Take responsibility for your feelings, and take the next step.
Remember, you don’t need to put up with anyone who’s abusive, aggressive, or manipulative. And make sure you have support before taking the next step.
How to Have More Love in Your Life
The love conundrum keeps you from experiencing love. You must break the cycle, but you can’t solve the problem with the same thinking that created it. The change must occur on a subconscious level. Work with a good practitioner to heal yourself, and do it as soon as possible. Then watch the magic happen in your life. You deserve it.
Become Free by Healing the Hurt
Freedom is there for you if you heal the hurt and pain, but to get it, you must do the work required by investing in yourself.
Once you’re healed, you will realise the shadow that follows you around is created by you, and you’ll understand on a deep level that you’re the one in control of it.
It’s time to break through to your massive potential.
HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
Discover how to live the life you were meant to live. I’ve put together a cool little video, so you can learn the 7 Steps to Transformation.
If you’ve always known there’s more to life than how you’ve been living it, then this system is for you!
Just click this link to gain access now.